Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Should I transfer colleges or stick it out at my current one?

I need advice because I not sure if I would be making the right decision to choose whether to transfer or not. This fall will be the start of my 5th year at the University of Tennessee at Martin. I was an A,B student back in high school, however, I sank into an apathetic depression for a few years, my grades suffered but not enough to flunk out. In the past year my grades have slowly started improving so I think my academics have finally taken the 180 and are going to be much better then my past experience. The reason I want to transfer though is because I feel like I have missed out on the campus life. In high school I guess you could say I was the stereo type reserved geek, got bullied some but had some friends. After high school I got involved with a different group of friends, I did make some friends at UTM but tended to hang out more with my younger high school friends due to the fact I also commuted 20 min away. It just became very convenient to hang out with them because after all my classes I would go home eat supper to save money instead of buying campus food, then just going into town which was 5 min away and chilling with some friends. Also after my freshman year I started drinking and smoking weed not excessively to become a junkie or anything but the "friends" I did it with ended up taking a tole on my personality. In the long run my self esteem became zero, got into trouble, and just wasted a lot of time. Many people have let me down and I am sick of it and just want to escape. My family will support me no matter what, but since I lost my tn lottery scholarship my freshman year and just been relying on pell grant and student loans, I don't have a lot of money. I have worked jobs off and on but because the way the economy is and case of past bad luck, at the moment I don't have any money besides an partially unused loan that I try not to spend because obviously it's borrowed money. A few months ago I was diagnosed with add, not to be making any excuses but I have a feeling it is why I have been the way I have been. It is part of the reason why I have been reserved, having hardly any confidence to push myself to be more extroverted. Since then I have been taking adderall(although so far I feel this drug has had no effect on me so far), going to counseling sessions, reading online to find ways to improve self esteem like askmen.com etc. I am 22 now and feel like I have wasted part of my life when instead I could have socially networked with much more people my age that I would surround myself with. Which by doing this would build my character for the better and help me achieve more goals with life. I have never cared for dorms because well I live 20 min away whats the point? I could try to branch out with people here at utm, but because of lack of money, I just go home and don't return back to utm till the next day. Also I wish I could go somewhere where I could start off new where nobody knows me, even maybe join a fraternity. I'm not sure but read that you can get scholarships for transferring. Basically I am unhappy due to my past and present, want to make change but not sure how to exactly, I am tired of looking at guys with hot girlfriend's, huge social circles and just wishing I could be in their shoes. I just want to go to a college that I can finish out within roughly 2 years of my bachelors in computer science, have a supportive job that keeps me on my feet but doesn't hurt my academics(which working too much that has happened to me a few times), get a bigger social life that supports me and builds character and just become a better man.

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